"Hand In My Pocket"
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright'cause
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
help...
a.a. and i chatted yesterday, brief one. she said sometimes ada rasa nak quit. she is now on the journey as well with nottingham u. me too ada rasa nak quit!! so far there have been two instances where i told myself "quit la". but am still here and sometimes i can see speck of light then it vanishes. the hardest part about all this at this point in time is the pushing of myself. not to blame anyone or anything, but an institution taking research grad students should (borderline must) prepare a more conducive area of study, not just cubicle please! but again this is just me trying to point fingers and that i do rationalize on things happening around me that deters me from working. so me have to change, and quick!
As the Beatles put it....
Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone,
Help!
When I was younger,
so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway.B
ut now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind,
I've opened up the doors.
Help me if you can,
I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like, I've never done before.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway.
But now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind,
I've opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And i do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
Help me,Help me
As the Beatles put it....
Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone,
Help!
When I was younger,
so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway.B
ut now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind,
I've opened up the doors.
Help me if you can,
I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like, I've never done before.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway.
But now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind,
I've opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And i do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
Help me,Help me
Thursday, October 23, 2008
tips..
sv#2's says one thing we can do to help "shop" for framework as well to get to know what's in is by browsing 1) conference call for papers 2) major journals in one's field. gave me a copy of a 2009 conference call for papers. in there, most topics in entrepreneurship revolved around sustainability. could be...
one thing interesting i read was the fact that having a group or a friend (pun dah cukup) to work/ discuss/ talk about our progress. the person may not be in the same field, "as long as he or she understands english". so sm, you're my friend, boleh tak? ha ha. talking really helps i suppose.
another point that the author made was the research should be done before the report is made so that by the time we write the thesis, major mistakes CAN be avoided, like it's not our FIRST experience using the tools, methods etc. makes me think.....am i too late??
will write more as i progress through the book (which i should have read before even thinking of getting on board!!!!!)
one thing interesting i read was the fact that having a group or a friend (pun dah cukup) to work/ discuss/ talk about our progress. the person may not be in the same field, "as long as he or she understands english". so sm, you're my friend, boleh tak? ha ha. talking really helps i suppose.
another point that the author made was the research should be done before the report is made so that by the time we write the thesis, major mistakes CAN be avoided, like it's not our FIRST experience using the tools, methods etc. makes me think.....am i too late??
will write more as i progress through the book (which i should have read before even thinking of getting on board!!!!!)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
kena lagi...
just found out that again we've been had by another of our so-called peeps...ha ha kena lagi. long story and not worth the mentioned in the "fab lane". it is amazing how people can cook up stories to cover up something. and i mean cook up, sampai jadi cerita tak logic. knew it was all a cover up initially but denial denial denial....these peeps all together in this weird web "peepship", covering up for each other and at the same time covering their own asses and at the same time eat each other kat belakang AND at the same time think we believe whatever they say.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Streptococcus oh streptococcus....
raya was fun albeit tiring. from bertam all the way to batu pahat and a stop over in tangkak. barbecue in usj and drinks with si. kids had a blast with cousins be it hmk, amk, af, yf or aif. all lupa dunia playing. sunday, drove back home. was home around 11 pm, terus buat laundry and kemas2 apa yg boleh. kid#1 complained of headache that night. panadol and straight to sleep.
after school the next day again headache complaints by umf. missed sekolah agama. brought to clinic, seemed that tonsils were swollen and slightly reddish. little did we know that all tis will lead to trips to hospitals and blood tests. things got worse and worse for him the next few days. by the third day (thanks to mak) decided to have his blood tested @hsj. with abg's help we did it that evening. so mlm tu nothing else was on my mind except the results. he started to snore very loudly and he seemed to have difficulty breathing, fever up and down and his "kelenjar" bengkak, both sides (actually the swell has started the week before but it wasn't that bad). that was the beginning of my nightmare.
next morning got to see paeds @hsj, and was advised to admit him since he's already so weak and fever was high. decided to put him in bgn sp. dr was puzzled. the infection in his throat was really bad that it had developed a whitish plaque over the tonsils and the swell has taken most of the space in the throat. that explains the snoring. his nose blocked by hingus and his chest dah ter developed bronchitis (due to the tonsil infection). masya allah....!! he had to have nebulizer four-hourly. poor boy had to wake up in the middle of the night and makan ubat and "ambik gas" (as the nurses put it!) i stayed at the hospital at nights. slept on the kerusi "cina" yg sejuk sebab metal body. the aircond wad damn cold, if boleh snow sure dah turun snow dari aircond unit tu. fever was only stabilized on the third day of admission. it turned out to be streptococcus bacteria. alhamdulillah the antibiotics given were the right one.
good thing the dr was patient enough entertaining many many questions from yours truly. the kelenjar swelling subsided quite quickly. by sunday, fever dah tak de and umf dah more or less normal. began to ask for certain foods and began gaduh ngan mama dia.
this made me feel really bad. as fas as kids are concerned i've done my best to take care of them. they're my world. maybe the best is not enough. but this my way, and it is for me THE BEST! i'm sorry umf. i am so sorry that you had to go through that.
i'm sorry too mfh for not wanting to make the changes you suggested. the thing is that i have a home and this is my home and i want to be in my home. it's bad enough that i leave them during the day. i want to have them in our home when we sleep at night in our bedroom. i know people are trying to help, but what they've done is already good enough. and i thank everyone. but please just let me be in our home...i beg of you...having the changes (though temporary) will not make me feel less bad about what happen to umf. in fact it'll make me feel worse. it makes me feel like you don't trust me with the kids. please understand the whole situation. i don't know how i can explain this more clearly and without being in a friction with you.
i want to thank allah almighty, a.wan. m. tok, mak, abg, all our family members, all the paeds involved, the nurses and you, mfh. love,
after school the next day again headache complaints by umf. missed sekolah agama. brought to clinic, seemed that tonsils were swollen and slightly reddish. little did we know that all tis will lead to trips to hospitals and blood tests. things got worse and worse for him the next few days. by the third day (thanks to mak) decided to have his blood tested @hsj. with abg's help we did it that evening. so mlm tu nothing else was on my mind except the results. he started to snore very loudly and he seemed to have difficulty breathing, fever up and down and his "kelenjar" bengkak, both sides (actually the swell has started the week before but it wasn't that bad). that was the beginning of my nightmare.
next morning got to see paeds @hsj, and was advised to admit him since he's already so weak and fever was high. decided to put him in bgn sp. dr was puzzled. the infection in his throat was really bad that it had developed a whitish plaque over the tonsils and the swell has taken most of the space in the throat. that explains the snoring. his nose blocked by hingus and his chest dah ter developed bronchitis (due to the tonsil infection). masya allah....!! he had to have nebulizer four-hourly. poor boy had to wake up in the middle of the night and makan ubat and "ambik gas" (as the nurses put it!) i stayed at the hospital at nights. slept on the kerusi "cina" yg sejuk sebab metal body. the aircond wad damn cold, if boleh snow sure dah turun snow dari aircond unit tu. fever was only stabilized on the third day of admission. it turned out to be streptococcus bacteria. alhamdulillah the antibiotics given were the right one.
good thing the dr was patient enough entertaining many many questions from yours truly. the kelenjar swelling subsided quite quickly. by sunday, fever dah tak de and umf dah more or less normal. began to ask for certain foods and began gaduh ngan mama dia.
this made me feel really bad. as fas as kids are concerned i've done my best to take care of them. they're my world. maybe the best is not enough. but this my way, and it is for me THE BEST! i'm sorry umf. i am so sorry that you had to go through that.
i'm sorry too mfh for not wanting to make the changes you suggested. the thing is that i have a home and this is my home and i want to be in my home. it's bad enough that i leave them during the day. i want to have them in our home when we sleep at night in our bedroom. i know people are trying to help, but what they've done is already good enough. and i thank everyone. but please just let me be in our home...i beg of you...having the changes (though temporary) will not make me feel less bad about what happen to umf. in fact it'll make me feel worse. it makes me feel like you don't trust me with the kids. please understand the whole situation. i don't know how i can explain this more clearly and without being in a friction with you.
i want to thank allah almighty, a.wan. m. tok, mak, abg, all our family members, all the paeds involved, the nurses and you, mfh. love,
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