thank u...

sesi tarbiyah hari ni revolves around friendship. kena think:
1) manfaat ur friend's friendship pada u
2) manfaat ur friendship pada ur friend
3) manfaat frienship tu to both u and ur friend
so it's about giving and taking, not just taking/ giving alone all the time.

dan pesanan, jgn feel too obliged sampai jejaskan diri sendiri(that one's for me specifically).

to you (and me too), i hope you learn to accept ur shortcomings (believe me, u ada shortcomings) and learn something from them! hhmmmppphhhhh!

oh yes, happy birthday to diana, moga panjang umur and murah rezeki dear!! i miss you

and i miss married ladies!!!

moods...

to whom this may concern

GTH!

battery of some sorts..

you have problems? i have problems too, you know. is your problem more serious than mine? is mine more serious, then? no? says who? you? well, my friend, now YOU have a problem.

i thought it was blessing, was it? (am thinking, there must be!)

keeping quiet may not mean i terima all your s**t!

it's always about you, you and you. anything i have to say is only petty and unimportant or worse, wrong.

i have support, so you say, well, my dear i am so sorry that you lost yours, so does it make that my fault?

you tak mampu nak buat? so what do you want me to do about it? you ingat i mampu?? no, effing way-lah!

you have baggage and you to carry it alone? apa, ingat aku tak de baggage ke? lagi banyak my baggage, pernah pikir tak?

masing2 ada responsibilities, problems, shortcomings. seteruk2 masalah kita, mesti ada org yg kena bear heavier burden. sama2 lah kita live with one another, supporting one another, listen to one another....

it is just so frustrating. people say they are a weird lot, and today i could understand.

ouch...!

could not help noticing a facebook friend's status updates, since his baby was born. from the looks of it, it appears that baby mawaddah has problems, but somehow i don't have the heart to ask him about it, takut tersinggung. today i noticed that the baby is now in intensive care unit, with initial diagnosis of a bleeding in the brain and brain infection. masya allah!! berat nye dugaan for everyone! now she's still with wires, but fortunately no bleeding in the brain (this is betul2 from the status update). watched a video of baby mawaddah *tear*.

for mahyudin and family and mawaddah especially, i pray for everything to be fine, insyaallah..


ya Allah, Engkau adalah TUhanku, tidak ada Tuhan selain Engkau; Engkau yg menciptakan dan aku abdi-Mu, dan aku berada dalam perjanjian denganMu, ikrar kpdMU segala kemampuanku; dan aku berlindung padaMu, dari kejahatan apa2 yang telah aku lakukan; aku mengakui nikmatMu kpdku; dan aku mengakui dosaku, maka ampunilah aku, kerana tidak ada yg boleh mengampuni dosa2, kecuali Engkau. Amin! ...untuk difikirkan (terutama oleh yours truly)

transparent...

after going through a process of filing some employment matters, me think some official processes are:

1) complete waste of paper! (sayang paper buat print tu...)
2) "competition" of who-can-put-things-where-it-weighs-highest (rasanye tak creative)
3) "competition" siapa boleh buat filing, mmm useful (which i mmg fail)

there, this may be BS, but this is MY fab lane!

just remind myself and you, my dear readers...Allah berfirman; "Mohonlah kepadaKu dengan sabar & solat" ...fikir2 kan

friends...

friends come and go..don't they? this suddenly came to my mind a few days back. reminds me of a time not a few years ago that i casually said to a colleague that A is B's friend. she responded, yes, mmg dia org kawan, tapi bukan sahabat. ?? ada difference? significant tak? tested? we go through school, high school, college, and post college (to some) and post post college (to lesser some), not forgetting work environment and social environments. how many of us have this priviledge of having sahabat? we do have friends, here and there. oh yes, i kenal org ni, i kenal org tu. but question is how many of us get stuff like you were not like this when you were 16 (or better 7)! i get ditched a lot when it comes to this, or maybe i ditched others and for this i apologize. sahabat..yang paling sedih is when we think org tu sahabat, but when changes occur, org tu terus reduced to non-kawan even. sedih. and for this is do thank cms, for having been with me all these years, although bergaduh byk kali, have differences in opinions and stuff, but she (i think) has confidence, the extent to which i pun tak sampai! and for this also i want to cherish whatever friendship that i have with the hope that it'll somehow blossom into sahabat...! wallahua'lam!

p.s. something i read "Women's lives, even more than men's, are complex" (Burke, 2006)..fikir-fikirkan...

work habits...

it was not until i am on board this arduous journey that i realize how i work; kelam kabut, easily distracted, lack focus and the list goes on with not so many positive attributes. it's also a realization that me and morning, somehow do NOT go in sync. how to overcome that? i cannot possible work late evening, as there is a need to change caps after 6 pm. it's late to be realizing this petty stuff but further changes need to take place, me think. insya allah..

congratulations is due to fadz, who has just given birth to baby luqman! make me crave for a baby even more!! mcm mana ni? plan macam2 tapi kerja pun masih banyak. ya allah, aku mohon pertolongan Mu!

jahatnye...

office politics sucks, politics suck, anything that has both close or remote relations to anything politics...sucks. i, for one, have completely lost the little confidence i have in the local politics. office politics, backstabbing are all part parcel of a workplace (ye ke??) where i work, we only have some individuals who suck up to the boss and suck up big time! that's it. where he works, things are pretty much the opposite. and right now people are beginning to show their true colors kat sana. you know dengki sini, tak puas hati sana and mengamuk kat mana mana. i was telling him maybe because where he works people dah damaged headsnye, while where i work masih ramai yg heads masih in tact. so when there are many "lose" screws around, one can only imagine the wrath. i suppose that's the problem when everyone thinks they're better/ smarter/ more brilliant than other people. tu yang tak boleh nak ditegur lansung. wallahua'lam.

p.s. "dalam awan, ada hujan, dan dalam awan ada lautan; dalam aku ada Dia, dan dalam Dia ada kita, ada semua" - .....fikir-fikir kan...

me against the (local) music...

last night mm finals 24 was on, and of course, i watched it. at one point it made me feel old, mm finals is 24 years old..and i am?? time sure flies especially nowadays. well, the show started off with a bang and bang i mean the diva herself opened the show. contestant wise, well, there were good ones and then there were not-so-good ones. hfz, akm, m, tmk ... what were u thinking? obviously, there's dearth of good music in the local music scene, me think. and kudos for ms y (rooted for this to win!), stcy, "rain". well, when a. was on singing pergi, i realized that that song could win. good music? well, not really. you see, i have been, for a few years a believer that for an artist to win a grammy awards, or the like, he or she would have to be dead first. and last night, when a. performed, the same feeling came crawling back. during his performance, he had on pictures of artists/ famous persons who've gone ... died... like mkhtr dhri, sudi and the latest (and personally overrated) cik min. when cik min's pic was on, i knew, this song would win and true to my feelings...it did! yuna managed to get 2nd place. my point here, is the song really good? really deserve the win? or was it an emotional elements that it was harping on, that it got the win? i mean i haven't even heard of the song! (ok, this u can blame me, i don't listen to malay music) this happened (i think) when ray charles died. suddenly, his songs won grammys! i may bit biased since ms y didn't win but to deny true "talent"? hhmmm....

p.s. this is part of a practice to see how many words i can write in 5 minutes....as posed by Murray (2002).